I knew that there existed a group of men with the mindset that if you’re only jerking off with other guys you’re straight. This didn’t really enter my mind when I caught a profile of a handsome guy on bear411 that said “J/O only”.  Bear411 isn’t explicitly for hook-ups, but it does make you list your sexual preference (IE: top, bottom, versatile etc…)

Rather than send him a message I left a “Grrr!” on his comment section. He messaged me back and said I was “just his type.” Bemused, I said “Oh yeah? What type is that?”

What I got back was a monologue about his sexual proclivities and why because of what he likes to do he’s straight. Here it is, cut and pasted for your perusal (without correction or rearrangement for easier reading - suffer!):

“We should trade a few adult fotis. Mine are manly frontal nudes. I hate when guys send me pics sucking or being sucked or fuckef or oprn asshole. Ha! I do like your fotis man. I took my profile pic on my cell last Monday. 

My type - well I am into fondling and playing with a cock and edging it. Very manly and notmainstream ir a jackoff. I like same on me. I’ve showed other fellas by doing it to them and they had no udea it was so pleasurable safe and manly. I’m not into the kussung, suck ir fuck. I keep it like on the two men feeling one anothers pud deal and it can be incredibly hot, especially if the dude is laying back enjoying and finds me handsome. I like small cocks but not essential. Since I’m not a gay needing to have a big cock for the traditional kinda sex, small ones are pretty fuckin amazing to play with cause the way I manipulate it the pud swells up and the head does too. Plus I think some if the handsomest cocks with nice heafs are smaller ones. Once in a while I find anithet fella just like me when ut comes to sex bit more often its either a top or bottom guy who is intrigued and once I have tje guy in bed relaxed snd naked I take if my drawers and lay near his belly, lightly run hsnds and fingers iver his belly and legs, then lightly begin feeling his pud. By then dude’s cock is well on its way to becoming granite for a good while. I’ve had no complaints. I’m just a safe manly guy that knows skills that encourage safe and manly play. 
Whew! That was a lot! But I iften have to detail to make point, ya know? Sorry if it was ling though buddy. Any other questions? Feel free.”

Here are my thoughts:

* how is ‘edging’ (masturbating for a long as you can without coming) ‘manly’?

* “since I’m not a gay needing a big cock” - dude, you like to masturbate with other men and have a VERY specific type of thing you like to do. You are at the very least bisexual.

This whole mindset basically comes from the stigma of being ‘gay’. It’s the kind of down-low mentality that has created the MSM culture - “Men Who Have Sex With Men” - wherein guys openly identify as that, but not as gay. They mean ‘the gay lifestyle’ or ‘effeminate’ or ‘weak’, all the things associated with using ‘gay’ as an insult. Guys, you don’t have to go to a parade or the bar beer bust to be gay or bi. You don’t have to broadcast it. But don’t deny it when you’re running your hands over dudes’ bellies and legs on your way to their boner…

God help me, I’m on tumblr now. I told myself that if my combined followers on twitter, facebook etc… passed a certain number I would tumble*, and here I am.

This shit is going to be b-a-n-a-n-a-s, as the immortal Gwen Stefani might say were she both here and capable of speech. You’ll find, as you read, that I’m quite funny. Please don’t let it frighten you.

Okay. That’s an obligatory first post of sufficient length, I think. Off to the interwebz!

* - is that a thing? If it isn’t, it should be.